7 HABITS OF HIGLY pious PEOPLE

Begin with GOD in Mind
Be a para active devotee
Think Bhakthi-ly first
Pray to understand and then pray that you understood
Sacrifice/Sacrifice
No Sin-ergy
Sharpen your Donations

Initial Problem!!!

Patriotism is deep in everybody's blood...some skin deep....some well deep...some sea deep...etc
But it just doent mean getting angry when someone spits on our flag or set the flag on fire but it mandatorily requires to know all the facts about our country in and out

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Learn to Rap our leader names,the figures of our population,
our economy,our goverment and much more intresting info
from our very own star Mr.Gajendra vijaykanth
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Apparently to gain entry one has to answer just one question. serves the purpose of an entrance exam of that cadre

What is the initial of INDIA????

Vijaykant says "idhu varikkum 1294574 people have taken the entrance test....584752 were boys and 709822 were girls....608711 gave irrelevant answers....and 585870 gave wrong answers..99993 guessed the correct answer...but none gave the correct reasoning...oru oru thaiyum nammala pathu maasam dhan sumakkara...nam desam nambalai vaal naal mulukka sumakkiral...idhuva namma adhukku kattura mariyadhai....idhuva desa patru....."

After that inspirational speech he pauses and says

"Nam desathin initial G"

every aspirant had a burning desire to know how???????

now the voice again said....."Bcoz Gandhiji is the Father of our nation"

Shock Treatment!!!

Arpamalamma Benganapollinaakuyindu Brighadeeshtrandu Rao was on his way to Bank of Andra and Punjab national Bank.A big suitcase accompanied him to help him with the money.

For convenience am gonna call him Mr Rao here on.ok.

Mr Rao goes into the bank and then greets a few of his known friends over there.Then he fills in the payout slip and other necessary details.

Minutes Later he suffered a bad electrical schock and died on spot.....Everybody were clueless and the FBI were sought for help by the CBI....Still unsucessful to know the cause of his death they contacted the deadcupid.....

The case was solved

"Apparently he was trying to draw money from a CURRENT account"

Exam Fever!!!

Mr Muthukaruppan,Mr GopalaKrishnan and Mr Muralidharan were the deadliest Exam inspection Squad ever formed.They had an eccentric talent of olfactory perception i.e they could sense a person copying a mile away.

15th January 2005 Time:12:30

Just as they were taking a stroll in the beasant nagar beach while on duty they sense something wrong about 3 miles away....(if yu want how it's three....then here it is...each guy can sense a mile away so together 3....simple maths)

They rush to the spot to find a school by the name mary andal matriculation school.The silent atmosphere suggested an exam was goin on...

Suddenly Muralidharan screams "vu-deja"....
Muthu asks "what did you say????"
Murali says....er.."Vu-Deja..."
Gopala makes sense finally (Deja-vu means already seen....vu-deja means i have never seen something like that)

And the reason...

All the students were sitting outside the exam hall at the door and writing their exam...

Puzzled...shocked....call it whatever reaction...the squad had it...they sprinted to the spot and summoned the examiner...

"What the hell is going on here....This is supposed to be an exam!!!!!"

Examiner says...."Yes...it is....An ENTRANCE EXAM"

Reporting Live from Kuttralam!!!

After attaining his dream job from Headlines today,Mr Karuppiah wanted to prove his worth.With so many ideas flashing through his mind he chose to do a mini documentary on kuttralam as there has been no recent news from there.

Toiling hard for almost a week he gets it ready and sends his newsclip to the TV network for broadcasting.After a day he gets a telegraph saying

"Newsclip dumped!You are fired!"

Unable to stand the shock he commits sucide.

Can you unravel the mystery of this mysterious case??

Mr Karuppiah's news on kuttralam was dumped because it was "falls" news and he was fired because he was reporting "falls" news.

Girly trouble!!!

Credits :- Shreya (I swear i dunno this gal)

Aishu was a sweet girl and the only girl of the family.She's got lotza frends and she is into final year of college.Our situation goes straight into one late night...mmmm

After one hell of a party bash at her frends place she come home late @ 9 p.m.(Now dont go criss cross.That is late according to her pop's standards)

Father says =>"yen late uhh"

Mother says =>"why are you late?"

Brother says =>"thum Kyon late"

Cousin says =>"enthukku lattuka uchchavu"

what can you infer from this ???

Oru ponnu late a vanda naalu per naalu vidhama pesuvanga.

:-)

"Quiz'InQuisitive"

Note =>Only For sport buffs(Specifically Cricket)

For long, people all over the world have been thinking as to why big software guns havent come forward to sponsor bigtime games like cricket.And then there was this million dollar question put up!!!

Question :- Which Cricket Series would Microsoft sponsor if it were to sponsor one???

Answer :- The VB series

US F.M. (Idhu Samma Cold Machi)

CREDITS:- Mahinder a.k.a Pulk,Second year E.C.E ,S.V.C.E

Osama Bin Laden had come down to chennai after a tiring journey all around the world to escape the U.S
Feeling very dizzy he goes to nayar kadai for a dumb and a tea.Biting a biscuit,he casually knocks at the old radio hanging with one of its legs on a creaky wire

He decided to check out the already programmed stations

Button 1=>gave him (Kelunga Kelunga Ketukitte irunga...Suryan F.M)
Button 2=>gave him (Idhu Samma hot machi....Radio Mirchi)

Got bugged with the music and decided to start tuning and was startled to hear U.S F.M. and literally pissed in his pants

Anybody can explain this remarkable phenomenon???

Well .....Just that when he started to tune...he heard BUSSSSSSHHHHHHHH

Give me The POWER!!!

CREDITS:-Ramprasanna(Final Year C.Sc,Anna Univ,Guindy)


A police officer had a beautiful daughter, who fell in love with a boy who was an ordinary poor person. When the gals father came to know about their love, he did not like it at all, and so began to protest about it. Now it happened that the two lovers decided to leave their homes for a happy future. The gals father started searching for the two lovers but could not find them. At last, he accepted their love and asked them in a newspaper to come back.

Her father said "if u both come back i will allow youto marry the guy u luv, I accept that u loved each other truly". So in this way their love won and the age old attitude of the tribe took a beating.The couple went to the city to shop for the wedding. He was dressed in white that day, and was crossing the road when a car came and hit him and he died on the spot. The girl lost her senses. It was only after a long time that she recovered and accepted that her love has died.

One night she was sleeping in her home with her family. Her mother had a dream in which she saw a fairy. That fairy asked her mother to wash the blood spots of the guy from her daughter's clothes as soon as possible. But her mother ignored the dream. Next night the father saw the same dream, he also ignored it. Then when the girl had the same dream the next night, she woke up andtold her mother about the dream. Her mother asked her to wash theclothes in which there were blood spots immediately. She washed the spots but some remained. Next night she again had the same dream she again washed the spots but some still remained. Next night she again had the same dream and this time that fairy gave her a last warning to wash the blood spots, or else something terrible will happen. This time the girl tried her best to wash the spots, the clothes tore, but some spots still remained.

In the evening on same day when she was alone, someone knocked the door, when she opened the door she saw the fairy at the door. She got very scared and fainted. The fairy woke her up..., and gave her an object, which shocked the girl and she asked "what is this..? ", the fairy replied...


"Try Power Soap.. just a dab & it will remove all stubborn stains!!!"
And WOW it did went away.........

Einstein'S bUlb!!

Einstein just before dying called his wife and tells sarcastically
"Dear,you have been very loving and caring to me and i am indebted to you in great magnitudes" and hands over a cheque wrapped in velvet and tells her "you deserve every bit of that,my love" and then closed his eyes,his breadth.

After the final prayers and funeral the wife returns home.sudden flashback as to how much money her husband had made over the years with his intelligence and research and what not.with trembling hands as to what awaits her on the cheque leaf she opens the velvet purse

Bank of Bulbs Dt 01/04/1906

PAY _______ELISA(my wonderful wife)____________ a sum
of (A-X)*(B-X)*(C-X)..... where A,B,C can be an A.P/G.P and X can take upto the least possible natural number

Signed
Einstein :-)

Elisa could not believe her sight.She was overjoyed and thrilled at her husband's brilliance.Obviously Einstein would have had a tought time writing such a huge amount of money he has in his name and has probably put it up in an equation.

So she rushes to the BANK OF BULBS to encash the money and took a dozen of suitcases with her to help her with the money.Elisa knocks at the Manager's door and produces the cheque.The manager looks at it and thinks for a second and could not believe the equation he saw until he saw the signed name Einstein below.

Manager : Are you einstein's wife?

Elisa :Yes sir,And all that money now belongs to me according to his will

Manager : You can own the money only if you know the alphabets by heart

Elisa(now outrageous) : Whta kind of a joke is that?..I sure know my english lego blocks

Manager(now smiling) : and what is the value of X you want to use maam?

Elisa :Am running on a bad patch.so i need some money.so use the least possible value 1

Manager :Very well. (A-1)*(B-1)*(C-1)*......(1-1)*(Y-1)*(Z-1)=>>>0

Now thatz what i call it an EINTEIN'S BULB

Goverment Blues

Posts are meant only for fun and to be the least offendable.
So choose X=amma if your are karunanidhi's fan and vice versa
i prefer amma :-)

So,one bright sunny morning,the crowing cock's alarm was jus ringing and the bats and the owls were just getting to sleep after their early morning movies.
Just then they all felt a rumble in the ground,thud!! thud!! THUD!!

An another earthquake? A much bigger tsunami? end of the world?Not to worry...it was the "amma" on her usual jogging routines as per doctor's advice.

Dressed in tight 3/4ths and a funky sleeveless that read "to the people,for the people,by the people",she sure would have had heads turning if she had been joggin on beasant nagar beach but now she is on the outskirts of chengelpet to avoid any attention over a narrow bridge stretching over a cooum.

Stuffed in her ears were a pair of headphones finding source from a philips mp3 player playing "amma tujhe salaam.." for the beat.every step of hers gave the bridge its last seconds to live.and phataak!!!!!!...well,the bridge dint break but amma twisted her ankle and fell to the side clinging with one hand to the edge of an woodpiece.

sorry guys.....i dint wanna make this too long.....straight to action
three fellas had come this way for a jog too and saw this scene which sent shivers down their spine..and after all the drama and trauma(which am not describing) they pull her outta danger and give her a second life to live with.

Amma extremely pleased with the way these young chaps can pull heavy weights and saving her life asked each of them as to what they wanted in return for their priceless guesture.

The first one had a long time wish to have a ferrari as he was an ardent fan of F1 and etc etc,so childishly he asked her for one and he couldnt believe it..amma said he would get it within three hours from now...he screamed to joy and scramed to go to his house to tell about his new gift
The sceond chap was an ardent rajini's fan and asked if amma could arrange a meeting with him.Amma thought for a second but then decided tht the chap deserved his reward and promised to arrange for it by afternoon

The last one stood trembling infront of amma.amma calmly asked

amma :My son,what do you want in return to your priceless deed

Guy(scratching his head) :life insurance for 10 lacs in my name

amma(surprised) : why do you think of such things,i shall give you 10 lacs in cash if yu want,you have a long life to live,my son

Guy :i shall as long as my parents dont find out whose life i saved!!!!!!!!

(trivia : amma is supposed to have turned over into a new leaf after this incident....but people are still hunting for these three chaps!!!!)

Buddie Veggie Dialogues

Potatoes : "You try to act oversmart,am gonna fry you upside down"

Tomatoes : "How about a game of squash?"

Onions : "Honey,looks like the end of the world is coming,Everybody's crying"

Ladies finger : "who is my father???"

Beetroot : "One Fair & Lovely Please!!!"

Drumsticks : "No,Am taller"

Carrots : "The Guys want us to go on strike"

Beans : "dont spill ourselves"

Cabbages : "i shall strip you to death"

CAT Crack

Our hero in the spotlight(for now i shall call him Mr YEE) sues CAREER LAUNCHER on some serious accusations of trying to mislead people and eating their money.Follwing this we go straight to the scene of the court!!!

Judge :Order!Order!

(Crowd chants....Idli Vadai dosai idiyappam...)

Mr Yee: Your honour,(pointing to Mr Gopinath(well...head of CL)),This man should be hanged for cheating and brainstorming young minds with false thoughts and hopes

Gopinath:Objection...your honor!

Judge :Objection Sustained!!!...you may proceed Mr YEE

Mr YEE:he kept advertising on and on that "Dear Students,to get calls from the IIM's you gotta BELL THE CAT" ( and now pointing to six animated objects next to him purring and cuddling with each other) and your honor...this is my evidence....i belled six cats for BLACKI IIM's....and today i dint even get one call except my girlfriend who called me this evening

Judge expires!!!

Swagatha!!!!

Director INDIA FLY KING i.e.Bharathiraja welcomes you to MOKKAI BAZAAR

"Yen iniya tamil mokkaigale...yen lovearndha vanakkam..."